You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
