The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
