So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
