Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
