i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
