whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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