hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Who wears a wallet chain?!
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
