Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize