We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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