i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
