Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
