her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
