his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
