i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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