What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
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