I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize