Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
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