Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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