i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
