Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
