It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
