last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
