Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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