Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
This baby is an asshole
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
