Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Randomize
