i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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