They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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