Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
