I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize