It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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