Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
