Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Randomize
