you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
