Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
