I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
