I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
