I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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