goodnight i made you a song goodbye
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
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