Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
