So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
