why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
