He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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