speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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