So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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