even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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