I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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