wake up i wanna do it froggy style
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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