My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
