i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
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Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
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I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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