she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
