Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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