When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
