Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
