jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
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The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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