You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I'm really busy with my period
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