I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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