You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize