can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
