we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
