dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
