do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
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I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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