can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
