It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
