Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
